inspired by the coming new year, my local paper did a huge spread with people from my region answering this question, which i thought was great. (most impressive was how many people answered ‘2007′.) so now i’m asking you -

what was your most memorable year, and why?

i’ll contribute my answer sometime in 2008 (which isn’t too long now). (or is here if you’re in some parts of the world). (eek).

happy new year!

part one

part two

and now - the final installment! at last…

friday (continued)

…wet, cold, plantar fasciitis-ed (foot AGONY in a big big way) and all, we joined the back of the queue, and waited. and waited. and waited. i feel sorry for the girl behind us who had to listen to our litany of complaints - my feet, the cold, my mum’s lack of hat, etc etc etc. there’s really no way to convey the horror of the wait, except to say that no amount of bargain shopping could really make up for such a poor level of service from GRAY LINE buses. surely they knew how many tickets they’d sold?

four buses and two and and a half hours later, we were finally on a bus (which scandalously left with four places spare, despite the super-sized queue still waiting). just another one hour trip back to the city? not quite. almost two hours later, after having my senses blasted by die hard 4 on the in-coach screens, we were dropped off at a wet and cold port authority, dripping wet and unsure which way to head back. we finally strode out (or in my case, hobbled, hopped up on a dangerous amount of painkillers) in the direction of our hotel. but it became clear we wouldn’t make it back to the hotel and then to dinner in time, so we’d have to go straight to the restaurant.

we were going, on keris’s recommendation, to the revolving restaurant on top of the marriott marquis hotel in times square. we’d both hoped to dress up a little for the occasion, but instead had to dash into the public restroom, try to turn our bedraggled hair into something stylish (my mum pulled it off; i didn’t quite), slap on some make-up and pull ourselves together. luckily the restaurant was not as posh as we’d feared (someone was wearing jeans) and despite being sodden and a few minutes late, we were lucky enough to bag a window table and enjoyed the lovely view whizzing past, even if, after being on a bus for so long, we were starting to feel a little dizzy.

things began to look up when we were brought some lovely bread and offered cocktails. i had my first cosmospolitan (SO carrie bradshaw!) and, slightly unwisely, ordered some champagne too. then - FOOD! after a delish caesar salad, i had veal with a potato terrine and sauteed broccolini (try saying that after a cosmo or two) and my mum had some velvet-smooth steak (yes, i sampled it). it was all delicious, completely relaxed, the view was fabulous despite the rain and we never wanted to leave. “thanks keris!” we toasted.

for dessert, my mum had creme brulee; i had molten chocolate lava, a deliciously rich dessert sered with ice cream and a kind of rounded chocolate arc de triomphe. gorgeous. then time for some coffee for my ma and mint tea for me, before we headed back to the hotel (at loooooong last) and collapsed, sated and soaked to the skin.

saturday

i woke up feeling optimistic.

this i what is known as *misplaced* optimism. i got up to go to the loo and could barely move. it hurt to even place my feet on the floor and the muscles in my legs, back and shoulders had seized up from doing so much, from walking and waiting for so long the day before, and from the stress of the previous day. i came out of the bathroom and my mum was watching the TV. “bad news,” she said. “the stagehands have gone on strike.”

this strike, a row over pay, had been threatened for the end of november, then was apparently resolved, but now had blown up again and they’d decide to call a strike on the day i was going to see wicked - a show i’d been longing to see for years. GREAT.

tired and hormonal, i had a little cry.

i seemed to be having a bit of bad holiday karma. still, after some frosted flakes (we had an in-room fridge for milk and stuff, which was gooooooood) and lotsa lotsa painkillers i was refreshed and ready to go to the famous (and also keris-recommended) strand book shop. this was my idea of HEAVEN. books upon books upon books and best of all, in the basement, a cache of unwanted but perfect condition review copies at half price. i started piling them up in my arms before noticing some little trolleys. brilliant! i then seriously began the piling.

once i’d got a pretty full trolley, i headed to the main floor, where i was meeting my mum (she’d gone for a coffee nearby). the main floor was busier and even more book-filled and i picked up a couple more prizes plus a calendar and book bag for both of us. at around £70 for 10 books plus other bits and pieces, i don’t think i did too badly. better that i left before doing any more damage, though.

so we hailed a taxi to the famous carnegie deli, home to massive sandwiches and walls full of celebrity autographs. i’d wanted to go there ever since seeing ruby wax attempt to work there, over 10 years ago. we at down next to a family of women, who were in shock over the size of their sarnies. “do you want some of mine? i’ll never even notice!” the woman next to me joked.

we considered sharing between ourselves but couldn’t agree on a filling, so my mum went for corned beef and i chose turkey on rye, with fries which were huge and gorgeous. the atmosphere was fast and frenetic and i couldn’t believe how quickly the food arrived. our waiter was brusque bordering on comedic and before long we were rushed out the door, grabbing a takeaway slice of chocolate mousse cake on our way (sounds easy, but involved queuing up three times and being shouted at about ten times; that’s new york for you.)

we walked back to the hotel in plenty of time to get ready for the theatre. shame we couldn’t actually GO.

instead, we got ready to go shopping! we watched a bit of telly, had a lie down, changed, i soaked my feet and ate a bit more of my sarnie (of course i took half home with me) then we headed off to sephora, on a mission to scoop up as much cheap make up as possible.

again, money was spent.

oops.

sunday

i got up and immediately commenced packing, which consisted mainly of shoving dirty clothes into carrier bags. then breakfast; and off to meet keris outside radio city music hall at the rockefeller center. (we’ve met up in manchester, sheffield, and now new york. how glam are we?)

after wandering ineptly around the mystifying and labyrinthine tunnels under the rockefeller centre, we finally found somewhere to eat and had a lurvely (chicken and mashed sweet potato for me) and laugh-filled meal and talked to our waiter who was a big morrissey fan. then it was time to go to the top of the rock, the viewing tower at the top of rockefeller centre. keris said (confirming what a bus tour guide had told us) that this was the best view of new york she’d seen - and no queuing for hours like the empire state!

the view was just phenomenal. breathtaking. every adjectival cliche you can think of. it brought tears to my eyes. definitely my top (ha ha) new york attraction.

[if you scroll down at www.keris-stainton.com you can see a video of the top of the rock in which i feature, thankfully not at close range. i never signed a release form you know, k…]

after that rocking (ha ha ) view, we went downstairs to meet lisa, keris’s pal and famous pink goddess. we had a starbucks and bonded over a love of betsey johnson and bags. after hugs all round, keris and lisa left for a dinner cruise to celebrate having walked 13 miles for charidee the day before, and my mum and i went to wash and brush up before heading back to radio city for the rockettes 75th annual christmas show. on the way, we bought souvenirs at a shop where the rude salesman told me what bad skin i have. i need to drink “less water”, apparently. i cried all the way back to the hotel, feeling ugly and disgusting. (F-U-N!) the worst thing was that my skin actually wasn’t looking as bad as it often does.

so, the show. this wasn’t like a musical, but set pieces consisting of great sets and fabulous dance routines. such energy and SUCH great dancing. my favourite was one number where the rockettes pretended to be toy soldiers - just brilliant. the audience was kind of restless though… if you get the chance, it’s worth going just to see the chandelier in the foyer. WOW. such a gorgeous building, you can’t believe it. (and it was nearly ripped down years ago! scandalous.) after the show, we made the wise decision of going against the foot traffic, and found an uncrowded TGI friday’s where i had a gorgeous pork sarnie and cocktail. my mum accused me of being rowdy. we staggered back to the hotel, calling in at M&Ms world and the hershey store on the way - luckily we were too full to buy anything at either, but the wall of M&Ms in every imaginable colour was mucho impressive. when we got back to the hotel, i was planning to do more packing but the period pain from hades kicked in and i rolled around ineffectually instead. i changed into my new i heart ny t shirt, reads some of the new york times (yay!) and took painkillers whilst moaning. finally i shoved one or two things in my case and set the alarm for veryvery early the next day…

monday

still in pain, and in a huge rush to get everything ready. checked out and then only just made it to the bus for our movie & TV tour in time despite setting off a little early (?)

we saw everything from the clock from ugly betty to the cosby show steps to carrie bradshaw’s street, the friends building and a lot of stuff from seinfeld, a show i’ve seen four times, so that bypassed me a bit. i did win a mini chocolate bar for knowing who said “i’ll have what she’s having” in when harry met sally (rob reiner’s mother, duh). i wished we hadn’t had to get off the bus to walk and look at things as my feet hated me by this point and i was in danger of becoming possibly the first plantar fasciitis-induced suicide, which would not have been good.

for some reason, we were walked to the ‘rice to riches’ cafe, the most disgusting place imaginable - a shop selling flavoured rice puddings. i happen to consider rice pudding the most abhorrent food thing in the whole entire world, so you can imagine how i feel about FLAVOURED rice pudding… 

but the shop was featured in hitch, which i kind of liked, so why not. after three and a half hours of movie locations, we ended up back where we started, and headed to bubba gumps for our last meal in new york. at this famous shrimp restaurant, my mum had a burger and i enjoyed a chicken sandwich. hee.

we were right opposite a big screen in times square and sat next to each other staring tiredly and blankly ahead. then it was time to go. we went back to the hotel, collected our bags and waited for a taxi, which took less time than we thought. getting in, we mentally waved goodbye to manhattan, and headed for queens, and home.

recommendation: don’t fly delta from JFK. talk about a nightmare. they’re so pushed for space that passengers for all flights queue up in one big glob. behind us, a girl from brussels expressed surprise that we’d turned up three hour early for our flight, y’know, as they tell you to do. she had just over an hour to her flight and wasn’t sure if she’d make it in time. (we think she did…) once we got over that hurdle (about an hour and a half later), we grabbed a quick snack, some duty free (clarins have a new moisturiser and i LIKE it) and er, another book. that’s twelve if you’re counting.

oh yes,  i almost forgot to mention we both had to pay excess baggage… insultingly, when we collected our suitcases from the carousel in manchester, we saw they had huge HEAVY tags all over them. rude!

after an interminable journey (more food, less sleep, still crappy films on the flight, followed by the train and a taxi home) we both wandered around aimlessly, gormless but less tired than we’d feared, before having a takeaway pizza and then falling asleep in our chairs. but before the falling asleep came the most important thing of all - my mum went to collect rufus, who had been much missed, and was very happy to be home. he’d lost weight at the cattery, and i could’ve cried thinking he must have been worrying about why he’d been abandoned. 

he followed us around all evening, crying and crying and refusing to settle down or be left alone for a second. he’s going to a luxury holiday home for felines next time. (maybe i should join him).

TO BE CONTINUED…

kidding!

people shouldn’t make me laugh - my sore throat (boo) hurts too much (ow!) but this post from hecklerspray is too funny. the intro:

“Aside from the shouty homophobic one, the one who was in that Disney film, the bony one, the one from Sideways and the gay one, Katherine Heigl is easily the breakout star from TV’s Grey’s Anatomy.”

also - hee:

know how you feel, my friend.

moar funny pictures

1. wrapping paper or gift bags?

i FAR prefer bunging stuff in gift bags ‘cos it’s quicker, easier and usually looks a lot better, too. i used to be all about brilliantly intricate, highly personalised and super time-consuming wrapping (we’re talking taking mini polaroids to use as gift tags; feathers; top-quality paper with unusual prints…) but not anymore! bung it in a bag.

2. real tree or artificial?

we had a real tree in 2003. once we finally got it out of the house, it rotted in the garden for three years cos we never knew what to do with it. it was still there when we moved out.

so: artificial.

3. when do you put up the tree?

in my dream world, december first. in real life, about a week before the 25th.

4. when do you take the tree down?

after a couple of weeks or so.

5. do you like eggnog?

i don’t think i’ve ever tried any. it sounds revolting, i have to say. festive, but revolting. it seems to be much more of an american obsession. but then they didn’t have the salmonella scare of the 1980s.

6. favourite gift received as a child?

my bike i think. it was a bluebird and i still remember the excitement of coming off the stabilisers for the first time - woooo! i also remember getting really, really excited about a new plastic sledge. it was blue. (and yes, my favourite colour is… red.)

7. do you have a nativity scene?

we’re not christian, so that would be a bit weird. (christmas was a pagan holiday first and i have no conflict about not being christian and celebrating it to the hilt, so there).

8. hardest person to buy for?

my grandad. he doesn’t do much, need much or like christmas very much.

9. easiest person to buy for? 

my mum. she is almost TOO easy to buy for, she likes so many things!

10. worst christmas gift you ever received?

i can’t think of one. i’m sure i’ve had one or two things i didn’t like that much, or didn’t use, but they were so minor i can’t remember specifics. i’ve always been lucky at christmas.

11. mail or email christmas cards? 

real ones are SO much better, but i’ll take or send an email one in a pinch; they can be fun! (someecards.com is hilarious).

12. favorite christmas movie?

it’s a wonderful life. i know that’s a cliche, but show me a better christmas film.

13. when do you start shopping for christmas?

it varies. i usually pick up bits and pieces throughout the year, but if i haven’t done some major shopping by september, i panic. » more…

before i start, i just want to share that i’m wearing slipper socks with large 3D santas on them (£3 from dorothy perkins and a total bargain). i’m saving my snowmen hair clips, tree earrings and large red glitter ball bobbles for tomorrow: less is more.

i hope you’re all having a great christmas eve and that tomorrow is as fab as can be, whether you celebrate or not.

now for the final yay!…

the whole shebang.

the big day: from opening presents with my lovely mum in the morning, to putting on my green jumper and all my christmassy accoutrements and eating more food than i ever thought possible, seeing relatives, giving and (YAY) receiving presents, christmas songs and films, everyone being in a good mood, chocolate and wine and falling asleep on the sofa in a coma-like state.

christmas eve and day and boxing day… it all gets a big fat yay!

gorming.

i’m planning on spending a lot of the next two weeks lying around looking gormless, not thinking about much, achieving much or wearing much in the way of non-pyjamas. i’ll read, eat, sleep, watch DVDs and just generally gorm.

i hope you can do the same.

yay!

strictly come dancing.

the final is TONIGHT and i can hardly wait! except i can, because i don’t want it to all be over for another year.

i kind of wish there could be three dancers as there would have been if things had gone as planned, but STILL. this should be a very good show, one of the best finals for years *cross fingers*. i really, really, really hope alesha wins (vote well and often, people!) but i wouldn’t begrudge it going to flavia. i mean, matt. (but really flavia). 

at least once it’s finished there’s still the xmas special on tuesday, a programme about the series next friday, and i’m going to the live show in february.

YAY!

oh come all ye faithful - sung in latin. so, so beautiful. yay!

(read part one here)

wednesday

got up and ready for our daytime bus tour, which thankfully left from just round the corner from our hotel. we first got off at central park for a little wander, and pointed out ideal spots for discovering dead bodies like on law and order. saw lots of cute dogs, a drunk/crazy/obscene shouty man, strawberry fields and john lennon’s old apartment block (yes, where he was shot.) getting back on the bus, we had the best guide of the trip - a fabby new york native who was very entertaining, funny and informative. with her, we went on a long ride uptown, and saw the sights of harlem, including bill clinton’s offices, all of which i snapped with a disposable camera. my mum was downstairs by this point (she gave in to the freezing cold), and i was upstairs on my own, but happy with the nice guide, crappy camera and some junior mints (YUM!)

my mum really wanted to go the metropolitan museum, so when that stop came up, we got off the bus. the met is indescribably huge and so beautiful. it was chaos outside, with army cadets, teenagers, hot dog sellers and lots and lot of groups of people milling around the front steps. we went inside and headed for the gift shop for a few souvenirs. we had a great browse but then had a ‘discussion’ about whether it’s a waste of time to spend a large chunk of a holiday looking at paintings, what the restaurant would be like and whether it’s OK to pay less than the ‘recommended’ price for admission (new yorkers like our guide say YES, my mum says it’s too rude). so we ended up not seeing anything and just got back on the bus. “isn’t the met wonderful?” our new guide asked us.

“oh, yes.”

we’d agreed to stay on the bus for a while now, and we did, right until we got to the upper east side and the plaza hotel, where the stop for bloomingdales and serendipity was announced. we decided to make an unscheduled stop. i’ve read, heard and watched so much about the world-famous serendipity 3 (you might have seen the film?) that i had to take the chance to drag my mum there. even if it was a seven or eight block walk.

my feet died but i went to chocolate heaven when i was served with the signature dish: a goldfish bowl-sized drink of frrrozen hot chocolate which is officially the most delicious thing in the whole entire world, EVER.

we also had a foot long hot dog each and were so full we practically had to be rolled to bloomie’s. we stopped on the way at dylan’s candy store, ralph lauren’s daughter’s pet project. then to bloomingdales, where a juicy couture lady gave me a sample of their new perfume… for dogs. 

we looked at some super-expensive jewellery and make-up and then went to the lovely xmas department, where i bought a tree decoration in the shape of the famous bloomingdale’s little brown bag (with a snowglobe inside, of course). i wanted to go to barneys, bergdorf goodman and the fao schwartz where tom hanks danced on the giant keyboard in big, but we were too exhausted. so we got back on the bus and headed to our new favourite shop, drugstore duane reade (they have everything!) for drinks and painkillers and then got couple of subway subs ‘to go’. i got meatball marinara, totally just so i could be like joey tribbiani.

we collapsed in front of the TV with our subs, vowing to set off earlier and get back earlier the next day.

which didn’t quite happen…

thursday

“i’m sorry but that light looks like a boob,” was the first thing my mum said to me on waking (after a thankfully nightmare-free sleep).

as i watched the news while my mum showered, i discovered that pupils across america were being given detention for daring to - gasp - HUG their friends. also, that a dessert in one posh new york restaurant was going for the bargain price of 25,000 dollars. i never did work out what it contained, exactly… we got back on the tour bus where our first guide was a bette davis-esque scary lady. her motto: “if you’re talking, you’re spoiling it for yourself. if you’re talking so other can hear you, you’re spoiling it for other people.” her other motto: ”i will tell stories, you should listen and not try to guess or point or speak. just wait for the punchline and you’ll enjoy it all much more.”

she told us not to get off at the first stop, but her brusque manner convinced us as never before that we needed to see macy’s in all its largest store in the world glory, so off we hopped. ah, bliss. macy’s is wonderful. more affordable than bloomies, more touristy, yes, but more FUN. i discovered i could get an 11% discount card just by flashing my passport, and made great use of this in the jewellery department, where i piled my arms a little too high, but who could blame me with the great exchange rate and so many pretty pretty accessories?

after a great spree, we sat on the mezzanine-level starbucks and drank and people-watched. we were too early for the famous xmas window displays (not to mention the famous thanksgiving parade) but we enjoyed the christmas decorations and music in the store all the same. we then went by bus downtown to the site of the world trade centre, which was a real change of pace. it makes me cry just to think about it. it’s such an unprepossessing and yet emotionally charged place. i wish i’d been like the clever folks there who wore sunglasses but i wore my normal glasses and fogged them right up.

we didn’t stay long before using the loos at the century 21 across the way where i kept setting off the security beepers for some reason. back on the bus, we went one stop and then walked to the staten island ferry, where there was a big queue to get on and no room to stand outside. unfortunately, once on the ferry we were on the wrong side for the statue of liberty, so apart from a bridge (manhattan? brooklyn? williamsburg? no idea) it was a bit of an uninspiring view. “you can just stay on the ferry and come straight back” my dad had told me… but they’d changed the rules. we had to get off, walk (in my case, limp) for miles, and then get back on the next ferry after a 10 or 15-minute wait. my feet wanted to die (i know i’m moaning, but i have plantar fasciitis or as laypeople call it, AGONY of the feet) but the journey back was lovely. sailing into new york we stood on the outside deck as seagulls swooped around us, dusk drew in and the statue of liberty and that fabulous skyline came into view.

unfortunately, the bus back took ages, and there weren’t that many interesting things to look at on the way, and it was as cold as i’d ever been. but having tried and failed to get a taxi it was our only hope. later than we wanted, we dashed back to our hotel (where a woman in the lift said “ladies, you’re bundled up - it’s not that cold!” and it took all my self restraint not to DECK her) we got changed, i got snappy about the fact that i hadn’t eaten yet and then we went to see the lion king. our first broadway show. it was great, but as brilliant as the show was, i was even more excited to EAT. we went to one of those diners that serves huge portions fast and without fanfare, which my mum hated but i kind of liked.

friday

up early… okay, that was a lie - up not at all early, we walked, or in my case hobbled, to port authority (the bus station) where we just made it in time for the 11.30 bus to woodbury common shopping outlet. it was raining, dark, and very cold but not to worry: shopping malls are all inside, aren’t they?

er, no. brrr.

strangely, we had one of the nicest meals of our holiday at woodbury common - sesame chicken with rice and vegetables which was lovely and almost as importantly, WARMING. we came out of the food court and straight away saw our respective meccas: for my mum, the clarks outlet store. for me, le sportsac’s outlet store was emitting its siren song: cheap bags! cheap bags!

money was spent. 

i also got two watches (one of which is just GORGEOUS but i still have no idea how to tell time with it) for £60 and some lurvely betsey johnson jewellery to add to my macy’s cache. my mum got some bargainous shoes from the clarks shop and some cheapie crabtree and evelyn stuff (which was no doubt imported from england, yet half the price. odd). by 5.30, we’d only seen about a sixth of the mall but our feet (especially mine) were sore and we’d been rained on just about enough, so we set off for the 5.45 bus. turns out about 300 people had the same idea, for when we got to the bus stop, there was the biggest queue i’d ever seen in my life.

enough to fill three or four buses, at least. it was now pouring with rain. i was wearing a thin jacket, my mum had no hat and we didn’t have an umbrella between us. it was dark, bleak, and freezing cold, and we had dinner reservation for 9.30. we went to the visitor centre to see what was going on. a rather flustered-slash-clueless employee told us that the bus company were sending three more buses (but as new york is at least an hour away, this was obviously going to take a while). what about a taxi, we asked? she informed us that the torrential rain meant dispatchers wouldn’t consider sending drivers out of the city. great.

TO BE CONTINUED.